Dear Annie…
Now, there is no “Annie,” this is
written for my niece, and other young girls her age, so to avoid using their names,
I will use “Annie.” Annie is 14 and has
just entered High School. Of course
that’s a big change, new opportunities, new challenges, but I’m sure the main
thing her mother, her dad, and I will have on our minds is the biggest and most
dangerous change of all…Boys.
Like all young girls, Annie’s
eyes will be wide, seeing all there is to see in this new, broader and ever-closer-to-adulthood
kind of world that High School represents, and seeing it from the innocent
viewpoint of a young girl.
Unfortunately, for Annie and
her mother, her mom will constantly be pulling back on the reins, trying to
limit Annie’s entries into this new and wilder world. Why ?
Because her mom knows the dangers.
Why will Annie resent this constant “unfair”, “ridiculous”, “irritating”
limitation of her rights and freedoms as a person ? Because Annie has no idea what lurks out
there. No idea how many creatures there
are who will eat her whole, or maybe just chew her up and spit her out. No idea.
So, for the next several years, her
mom will become an unreasonable bitch.
Maybe, just maybe, in a few years, Annie will realize just what mom
helped her to avoid. Maybe she’ll even
give her a big hug, and thank her. But
don’t hold your breath mom, that will not likely happen until she’s grown,
married, with a 15 year old daughter of her own…
Tigers: Tiger cubs are cute. They pounce and play and purr. Who wouldn’t love to take one home and keep
him as a pet ? Who wouldn’t fall for
that child-like, playful nature, who ?
But, tigers grow up. Who would
jump into the Tiger pen at the zoo ?
Foolish. In fact, a guy did that
just this week here at some zoo in the U.S.
Surprise, surprise, the tiger attacked.
The man was seriously injured, taken to hospital and had his leg
amputated. Why ? Because the tiger was a mean, dangerous
creature ? NO…it happened because the
guy was a dumbass. Anybody knows an
adult male tiger is an eater of men.
Anybody knows that. Nobody, in
his right mind (which this guy clearly wasn’t) would do such a thing. The tiger only did what is natural for him to
do.
So why, pray tell, do young girls
get into so much trouble because of contact with male members of the human
species ? Why ? I’ll tell you. Because, as I heard in a movie once, “there is no such thing as an innocent
man…over the age of twelve”.
Hello…hormones. It’s not their
fault. They hit puberty and WHAM…massive
amounts of testosterone hit them right in the brain. Hormones race through their veins like
powerful drugs…24…7…365. These hormones
alter the way the brain works, affecting the thinking process for as long as
the hormones flow, which should be for around 60 years for the average
individual.
Folks, such an animal has just
crossed a line. He has crossed the line
from “cute tiger kitten” to “adult male tiger”.
Or, more accurately, he has become the dreaded “AMH”…that’s right, an
“Adult Male Human”. I’m trying to be a
little funny here, but it’s no joke.
And, I’m not making this shit up.
I have a degree in Psychology, I’m a keen observer of reality, and I’ve
been a card-carrying member of the AMH Club for over 40 years now. Believe me, I know what I’m talking (or in
this case writing) about.
So, what do we do, or more
specifically, what do Annie and her mother do ?
Well, I hope that Annie will read this and at least get the inkling that
there is more lurking out there than she is aware of. Also, I hope that Annie (and her mom), will
recognize that they, as Female Members of the species do not (and can never)
think like an AMH. It takes a
testosterone-laced brain to think like a testosterone-laced brain. And Duh !, since females don’t have the same
chemicals in their heads, they will never think the same way. This is a concept that MANY of the Female
Members of our Species simply fail to get.
To try and illustrate this, I will
recall a radio program I listened to a couple of years ago. It was This
American Life, with Ira Glass. It’s
an interesting program because it deals with situations quite different than
many of us will ever encounter, on the idea that “different” is interesting and
gives us all something to learn about.
In this show, a person was interviewed about her desire to change from a
female person into a male person. Let’s
spare many of the details, but summarize to say that this person was one who believed
that she was born with the wrong body and wanted to change. Let’s forget the reasons why and/or the morality
of it, and just focus on one very interesting element…the point when they began
to inject her with testosterone at the beginning of the “change process”.
The part I found most fascinating
was her description of the way she noticed the working of her mind changing as
she got the initial doses of testosterone. (S)he began to think differently…a change (s)he could clearly notice, from
day one. (S)he described in detail her
thinking as (s)he approached another female on the street, where her eyes
looked, what (s)he thought about the curves (s)he saw, the way the other person
was walking. What was so shocking is the
precise way that it matched my
thinking in similar situations. It was
quickly clear to me that the testosterone had an immediate and profound impact
on the behavior of her brain. It was
making her think like one of us
(AMH’s I mean). The same way it changes
the “cute little tiger cub” into a full grown “animal”.
So, face it, I know what I’m
talking about. And, Annie, you need to
accept two important facts:
(2) You mother does. (and so do your father…and I).
When we say “slow down”, or “no”,
or “only if their parents are around”, and “wait, I don’t even know their
parents”, you need to listen. I have a
buddy named Mike. Mike and his wife have
a daughter (grown up now). Mike is a dad
that actively pays attention to everything that might cause his daughter
harm. It’s surprising how many tales Mike
has about checking out those stories, like “all the other parents said it was
ok”, and “yeah, their parents will be there”, only to find out that “oh, I
thought the party would be at your
house”, or “but they said you
would be there…” If you don’t believe
me, let’s call Mike. He will be happy to
tell you all about it.
So, what dangers lurk out there
? Well, some of the big ones: pregnancy, drugs, alcohol, car crashes due to
drunk driving, fights, sexually transmitted disease…just to name a few. And I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound to
condescending when I say that you, Annie, do not know enough yet, to see far
enough down the road, to avoid this kind of trouble. You still need your mother. Once you know more, once you see bad things
happen to other people and realize how close those people are to you, you will
learn better how to avoid the dangers.
At that point, you will be able to better select a reasonable young man,
and form an appropriate relationship with him.
You can begin to know that he respects you and will do his best to take
care of you. Then, you can go forward
into the world of adulthood. Then, your
father/step-dad (and maybe even I) will start to tell your mom to ease up a
bit. (maybe)
But for now, “count to ten”, and
listen to your mom.
-
Uncle Mark
(Mark W. Laughlin)
